Towards the Next Great Adventure
by strange-charmed
Summary: This shouldn't be the hard part ...


This shouldn't be the hard part.

Of course, growing a brand new TARDIS from a coral fragment should have been hard, and calibrating the plasmic shatterfly with inferior Earth technology should have been even more difficult. Powering her with rift energy enough to infuse the column with a time vortex from a foreign universe should have been impossible - but oh, how he had always loved doing the impossible. Encoding the chameleon circuit to resemble a police box that hadn't even existed in this universe had at least been an interesting challenge, and somewhat fun, to be honest.

But now?

The technological limitations from his new home planet were starting to catch up to him. He'd left the Zeus plugs for the console's ignition in a brown suit on the other side of the Void ... and the only metal alloy that was stable enough to hold artron energy wasn't going to be invented on Earth for another 2,500 years. At least, in the proper universe. Here? Add it to the list of things he didn't know about his new home. Invent it himself and he could change the course of history, create a paradox even. He hadn't a clue where to start now. Last of the almost-but-not-quite-Time Lords, defeated by a glorified spark plug. 

The Doctor closed his eyes at the thought, raking his fingers across his face and feeling the oh-so-human stubble beginning to grow across his chin. He paused, marveling at the odd sensation. He hadn't yet gotten used to that ... he wasn't sure he ever would.

His hands slid down into his blue-pinstriped pockets as he stood over the console, looking down at the patchwork of circuitry he had only recently managed to complete. Well, he says 'complete' … piece together enough to work for the time being, more like it. He couldn't hold back a soft smile as his eyes traced over the controls that were perfect replicas of those that belonged to another TARDIS in another universe … once upon a time, by hitting this button and pushing that lever just so, he could hear the vortex roar to life and the song of the universe would echo through the whole console room, beckoning him towards the next great adventure. He lived for that sound once, and he dreamed of it still. But now, nothing was going to happen if he pressed that button: it might never happen again. He wasn't sure he could ever get used to that, either.

He was jolted from his thoughts as the door creaked open and Rose entered slowly, standing just inside the doorway, her hair and oversized T-shirt slightly ruffled from sleep.

"How's it going?" she asked quietly.

The Doctor shook his head and quickly crouched back under the console, pretending he could fix what was wrong. The Very Important thing that was wrong. This was not a conversation he wanted to have with her.

"It's two in the morning," she said gently, padding over to him and sitting down on the grating beside him. She placed her hand on his knee and looked up at him. "Come to bed, just for a little while, OK?"

Try as he might, he found he couldn't meet her gaze. His mouth set into a line and he shook his head again as he picked up two rogue pieces of wire, his complete focus given to the task of twisting them together before setting them aside. He took a deep breath to steady himself.

"It's almost ... I can't ..." his voice broke a little on the last word. He hated that. The lack of control he had over this new body was intolerable. The lack of control he had over anything anymore, really.

Her arms were instantly around him, and he found himself unconsciously leaning into her embrace, stupidly weak. "Whatever it is, you'll figure it out, yeah?" 

He wanted to smile and reassure her, put on an easy grin, make a flippant remark or a joke - and then change the subject to anything else. Anything but his inability to make everything better. Who knows, he might still be able to go through the motions and fool her, but somewhere along the way he'd lost the ability to fool himself, and that made all the difference. He was so tired …

"What if I can't?" he said quietly, flatly, lips becoming even more taut over the words. He felt a tightness in his chest and realized he was holding his breath. He didn't want to know her reaction … he didn't need …

Rose tightened her arms around him and brought her head to his shoulder. "You can. You always can. I believe in you," she whispered.

He inhaled quickly and sniffed to cover the sudden, embarrassing mist in his eyes. Another thing out of his control. "Yeah," he said. 

"Yeah," Rose repeated, with emphasis, her voice a soft but sure echo of his own. Her fingers stroked his hair then lightly ran down along the side of his face, down the length of his sideburn and grazed the stubble on the bottom of his chin. She gently turned his face towards her own: he allowed it, following her motion. She leaned forward and pressed a soft, quick kiss to his lips.

She stood and held out her hand to him. "Come with me," she beckoned, and he wasn't sure if it was a statement or a question. He suspected she wasn't sure, either. 

He swallowed quickly and sucked in a short breath, then flicked his eyes upward to meet her own. She smiled softly down at him, her brows furrowing momentarily as she caught his red-rimmed gaze. They stayed like that for a long moment. Holding his stare, she began to say "… please" but it didn't completely form on her lips and the sound made only the barest whisper in the silence of the console room.

He got up slowly and took her outstretched hand. She smiled at him, half relieved and half pleased. He returned a small, tired attempt at a grin as she brushed her thumb over his knuckles. She locked her fingers with his own and squeezed his hand as she led him onwards, out of the half-complete TARDIS, door clicking shut behind them.


End file.
